Monday, June 8, 2009
Hope is nudging me to pet her. She won't let me hold her but she wants to be petted. I said to Hope "Can you just sit still and let me hold you, please? It would be so much more fun for both of us" but she will have none of it. Now she is sitting at the end of the sofa dozing off but still keeping her guard up. Perfect example of human relationship.
“If relationships were restaurants, I’d like the check please,” I said to my friend the other day after agonizing over the complexity of love. Are we scared to be loved? Or have both men and women’s pride been equalized, leaving both sexes defensive and guarded of their hearts and feelings.
As I look back on my past relationship essentially, I realize that I never told the other person how I really felt about them. And even still, when I have rarely ever verbally expressed my emotions or pursued someone who I have been so blindly in love with, I have gotten hurt.
Sometimes I think about how things would be different if I addressed the white elephant in the room- if I had just admitted to being helplessly and so defenselessly in love. Would that have made a difference?
When all is said and done, or in my case unsaid and undone, I cannot help but believe perspective of love is skewed. Women are expected to believe that ‘he’s just not that into you’ while men try to conceal their emotions to protect themselves from being hurt.
It’s a terribly painful double edged sword. And at the end of the day I wonder, should love be this difficult? My friend responded to me and said, “relationships are a seven course meal, and you are just beginning your appetizers.”
The answer though is really for you to decide.
But I promise you, dear soulmate, that I love you. And I always will. And maybe that is enough to make me believe why it never worked out with anyone else.
Do you know your soulmate?
I am so close to him I can almost touch him. It doesn't matter how big is the world, we will find our way to each other. I have waited for a long time, holding on to the thought of him, my best friend. The easy conversation, the occasion laughter, the tender kisses, the share love for family and nature, the absolute trust for each other. Timing is everything...
So many choices. Little time to choose.
Will you know them at first sight? I hope so.
Is one lifetime long enough to find our other half? For our sake, I hope so.
"Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there.
What you choose to do with them is up to you."
Every soul deserves completeness...
The journey of self discovery lead me to meet all kind of people. Some was good, some was not so good but the lessons were crucial for my spiritual and personal growth. I look back with much gratitude and tenderness. All were my teacher of soul; they taught me about myself. I still have so much to learn about the world and about myself... I just wish my best friend is here with me so we can learn together... I am in the between places right now.
As am I.
Honesty: In this between place i fear finding my soulmate. Am i as ready to find her as i feel i am?
What if i find The One and we're on different levels in our learning? Then i'm a ghost - She won't be able to see me. Or maybe She is my ghost.
White Cloud? What if i only have one chance and i blow it?
The mystery of love will be talked about for millions of year after we are gone...
Lets hope we will be ready when he/she shows up knocking on our doors.
I have an unquenchable curiosity that motivate me to search relentlessly for new possibilities and manifestation of all that love could be. And I believe, anyone who has truly loved another, even once, regardless of whether it was requited, has moved forward along the path of the divine.
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