Pebbles

There is beauty and there is beauty

The kind that pulls your heart out and claws at your soul

Gray sky, foggy horizon, tiny rain drops on my shoulders

There is happy and there is happy

The in awe feeling at nature's beauty and the overwhelming

feeling of knowing you are part of this beauty

Just like the pebbles I happened to be on the beach that day at that time

and tomorrow just like the pebbles I will get

swept up to a different shore by the tides of life

Constant changes, constant in flux

Longing for a safe harbor only to find out

I am already safe

Maybe

now I will learn to float and let the waves carry me to

wherever

I need to be or will be

Maybe I will learn to be safe within my own skin

I am not a rationalist and definitely not a realist

I float in between where the dark night is saying good bye

and the warm sun has yet come

In between the dawn of consciousness and

the sleepiness of the subconscious mind. In between the

inconsolable adult and the raging child waiting to be loved

This is where I am and it is alright

Time to take care the need of oneself

Time to love and nourish that child like nobody ever loved her before

It has to come from me...

This love, this unconditional love that I long for; all my life